I’ve not been ‘well’… 

 

Hi, 

I’ve been struggling the last few months with a bit of depression. It took me a long time to figure out what was going on but after careful analysis all the classic symptoms are there:

  • loss of interest in things that once gave me great joy (E.g. Meditating, music, blogging)
  • sleeping uncontrollably (to escape reality) 
  • Not caring much about general appearance (nothing to see here, move along) 
  • Over eating (to feel something other than pain) 
  • Rapid weight gain (eating all the wrong foods) 
  • Foul mood for days on end (wallow and self pity) 
  • Keeping to myself (not wanting to infect others) 
  • Feeling like a mindless drone – – numb (better not to feel if all I felt was pain) 
  • Sad (wondering what I did to deserve this) 
  • Constantly felling like crying (disbelief that this is my life) 

The last 7 years have been brutal! I’ve endured so many levels of pain and agony that had I not known there is a God, and there is a life beyond this unforgiving world, I may have taken the easy way out and ended it all. But I’m not a quitter! I’m not one to stay down for long. I’m not one to accept defeat easily for I know there is one mightier than I who will fight for me.

Friends, I’ve been away because there has been an enormous struggle within. I’ve been away because things have been hard. I’ve been away because I’ve been consumed with tough decisions. I’ve been away because my brain has had no time to relax. I’ve been away because I’ve been worried about my safety. I’ve been away because I’ve not been myself. 

Please know, I haven’t forgotten about you, I simply have not been emotionally and mentally well. I’m slowly finding my way back to the things that once gave me joy. I’m slowly shifting my focus from the chaos to the beautiful things in my life. I’m slowly learning the joy in living a life of gratitude. I’m slowly finding my way back to you. Just give me time…

 

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Image source: Google images
Contents compiled: February 18 2018
Originally published: February 19 2018
Copyright © 2017-2018 Anonymously Yours

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Can’t stop thinking about you…

image

 

Woke up with a smile
thinking of you.
Constantly amazed
by the things you do.

I’m 18 again
when we’re toghther.
My excitement builds
as I know you better.

Your warm embrace,
your passionate kisses,
your sense of humor,
your witty intelligence.

Meeting you
was a wonderful surprise,
I’m all a quiver
seeing that ‘look‘ in your eyes.

You captivate me
with your wicked charm.
You send new blood
rushing through my veins.

I’m floored that you feel
the same way I do,
it’s for this reason
I can’t stop thing about you.

 


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Image source: Google images
Contents compiled: May 14 2017
Originally published: May 14 2017
Copyright © 2017 Anonymously Yours


The evening shift

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She doesn’t understand why I have to go.
She cries because she wants me home.
It’s all for our family — a better tomorrow,
But today is all that matters to her.

In my heart I hope it’ll all be worth it.
I’m doing my best, pushing to the limit.
One day I hope she’ll truly appreciate,
It’s all for her, our amazing future awaits.

 


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Image source: Google images
Contents compiled: May 10 2017
Originally published: May 11 2017
Copyright © 2017 Anonymously Yours


Power-Nap

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P ushing through the sleepiness.
O verestimated how much I’d get done.
W asn’t in the mood for any shenanigans.
E vening shift means conserve energy.
R esponsibilities everywhere I turn.

N ot sure how I’ll pull this off.
A sking for a guiding hand.
P raying for a better tomorrow.

 


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Image source: Google images
Contents compiled: May 11 2017
Originally published: May 12 2017
Copyright © 2017 Anonymously Yours